Avoidance

I've finished a whole week of blogging and have managed to avoid the one subject that has been having the most impact on me lately. The break up with my ex (I'll call her box (shout out to MN)). I'll admit I've been depressed about it. Ok EXTREMELY depressed about it. Irrationally depressed. But I guess since depression is emotionally based, it's irrational by definition.

I've only really cared about one girl in my life. That was my girlfriend from high school. However, I was selfish and immature and treated her poorly. Since her I've dated many girls. I've really liked some, and not really liked others. But I never felt the same way I did about her. I associated this with the fact that she was my first serious girlfriend so the feeling would always be a little different. However, after being together with box for a little while I realized what that feeling was. It was the feeling of being in Love. It feels a little dumb to say that but it's true. I dated Box for less than six months but I was in love with her (I hope she never reads this). We broke up because we are at two different points in our life. I was a jerk to girls and not looking for a relationship for most of my life. I've finally come to the point where I'm ready for a relationship and am capable of treating someone the way they deserve to be treated. The problem is she is at the complete opposite side of the spectrum. She had always been ready for a relationship and always treated the guys she dated well. However, she just got out of a very serious relationship, and was not ready to deal with the responsibilities of being in another one. She is at a point in her life where being single, partying and being free of responsibilities is what she wants. The whole situation is very ironic, but maybe it's my karma coming back to me. However, I thought my girlfriend from high school getting married when I wasn't over her yet was my pay back for treating girls poorly. I guess not though. Hopefully, this tilts the scales into my favor.

But enough about that. The question I really wanted to talk about was "How long does it take to get over someone". It's something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Of course it all depends on the person, how serious you were, how long you dated etc. etc. I dated my girlfriend from high school on and off for four years. It took me four years to get over her. So I always kind of used that as a guidepost. That seems like a very long time on average though. I suppose that would be the upper bound of getting over someone. I think that is because once you've been broken up with someone longer than you were together it's hard to not convince yourself to move on. The stripper in Vegas I was talking to about this (Yes, it's both funny and sad. I was wasted in Vegas for a bachelor's party and at a strip club. But, instead of doing whatever guys do in strip clubs, I decided to talk about my ex-girlfriend to a stripper for a good thirty minutes. For anyone who has ever seen Swingers it was very similar to that. In fact, that scene dawned on me while talking about it to her (She had never seen the movie though)) said that's it's half the time you were in the relationship (at least that's how long it took her to get over her ex-husband). So if you dated someone a year, it would usually take about six months to get over them. I wonder if anyone has done any studies on this? It would be nice if there was some sort of formula. Let's see we dated x months, said I love you y times, went out of town together on z occasions. Ok carry the one, divide by the square root of the times we talked about breaking up... November 3rd. Perfect. "Oh you’re having a party for Halloween? Sorry I can't make it, but I will be free and ready to party on November 4th!